Behind the door
by LAIsobel
Summary: Set after 3x06 as I needed more of Sully and Andy and this thought wouldn't leave me alone. A lot can happen behind closed door. Other characters come to play a little part but it's mostly shippy story about the two of them, tears, hugs and a kiss that shouldn't have happened and caused an avalanche. Two chapters in total. Sorry, couldn't help myself.
1. Chapter 1

_Can't help myself. Can't get enough of them. Sorry._

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Robert Sullivan had some experience with distressed women. He was a firefighter after all. And he used to have a wife. And he was proud that they had open relationship where they didn't have to be afraid to show emotions to the other. They could deal with it together. And if one needed time it was okay too as long as they met again when they were ready to talk and face it.

When he lost Claire everything changed for him. Everything was wrong and different. It didn't matter what he chose to do in his life, it didn't matter how much he tried to change and it didn't matter how dangerous assignment he took. He was a different man. He retreated when he lost his wife and he didn't want to think about anything. He went from one day to another and felt so alone and the grieve was so great that he could barely breathe.

He was living on autopilot, focusing on simple tasks like breathing, eating, sleeping, going to work. He had no social life and no desire to have it. He just existed. Here in the US, in Afghanistan, in Germany where he ended after he got injured on a mission. He was a steep learner, languages were no problem for him so he always had to chance to make friends and find someone to be close to him. Only that he didn't want to. Why should he?

His heart was broken, shattered and he saw no reason in trying to mend it. He just lived from one day to another and waited for something that would change him. But he doubted anything would. What could anyway? After teaching at the Academy he thought he was done with firefighting but then he got the shot to run his own station in Montana and he took it. It was far away enough for him to feel comfortable enough to exist there.

And when he got another one to run 19 in Seattle, he was reluctant to take it. Was he ready to come back? Was he ready to face Captain Herrera and Luke? Was he ready to face the streets and known places that would always remind him of his wife? When she died he died with her. But he took the job and had little expectations.

And now? Now he was sitting in the bunk, on the bed, holding Andy in his arms, letting her cry and feel horrible, shielding her from the door and prying ears and eyes. He held her and tried to offer comfort and was surprised that he knew how. That he could. But everything was different with her now, wasn't it? She had the fabric of his shirt in her fists and he rocked her slowly back and forth, whispering soothing words and offering the only comfort he could.

When he heard Pruitt admit that he was indeed sick, his heart felt weird. He felt strange pain and guilt and worry and something else he couldn't name. But his instinct told him to go and be there for her. Hughes wanted to stop him but one look from Pruitt gave him the answer he needed. He was okay with him going in there. He let him go in there. He let him comfort his daughter.

He had no idea how much time passed as he held her but it certainly wasn't enough. She calmed down a bit and then her tears stopped. They were silent now, the wrecking sobs were gone and the horrible pain was dull now. She moved away a bit from him but their legs were still touching and she kept on of her hands on his chest as he kept on of his around her.

"I'm so sorry." He said and she nodded.

"He's gonna die." She said.

"I know."

"And he… he thinks I threw everything away."

"No, that's not true." He tried to argue with her but she wasn't listening. He let her sit there and think about whatever she needed to think about.

"Andy…" He said after some time and she looked up at him. "What can I do?" He asked, his own voice full of emotions. She searched his face for clues and signs but she found nothing. He was there, open and honest, just there for her. She saw something in his eyes, something she thought she had imagined before. She saw… love. And it was the last straw she needed to feel fresh tears in her eyes. How could he?

She leaned into his arms again and he held her, not sure what just happened, what triggered the reaction. What surprised him even more was when she looked up at him and kissed him.

They both froze on the spot. They were so close to each other that their breaths mingled together.

"Sorry." She said.

"Andy…" He whispered her name and when she looked at him again he let her decide what to do next. If this was what she needed, he would give it to her.

Andy was watching him, confused and sad and broken and desperate. He asked her what could he do. And this was the only thing she could think of. He could kiss her and show her he loved her if he really did, he could be there for her and let her forget for one moment before she would have to face the reality again.

But when she kissed him, when their lips touched, she knew it was the wrong thing to do because it would destroy her at once. He was there, so warm and welcoming, he smelled so nice and he was willing to do anything for her. She knew how she still felt about him and she could only guess how he felt about her.

He did a lot of bad things. He broke her heart, he pushed her away, he humiliated her, he promoted Maya. But he also cared about her and wanted to protect her and she knew it. He was clumsy at his efforts but when she put aside the anger she felt she could see it. And it was scary because she didn't understand it.

Sullivan touched her face and she leaned into his palm. She loved his hands and how he could make her feel. Closing her eyes she just waited. He didn't say anything but he kept his hand where it was and his thumb started to move across her cheek.

"Anything you need, I'm here." He said and for a moment was sure he meant it. Andy looked at him and felt so numb inside again, so mad and so betrayed that she could have done anything. Nodding she moved closer and kissed him again.

"Make me feel alive." She said and he kissed her back. After a minute of the two of them kissing and their hands exploring, he pulled her onto his lap and she straddled him, clutching him, pressing into him. Their kissing was getting more and more intense and it was getting out of hand.

And suddenly Robert stopped. Andy didn't know why and he was too afraid to tell her that he was in such pain he could see white stars and nothing else. He was stiff and had to breathe through it. Andy thought he changed his mind so she moved away from him. She climbed down from him and wanted to leave but he took her hand and brought her back to him.

She stood there in between his legs and he held her sides firmly. Andy let him rest his head on her chest and waited.

"I'm sorry." He said then.

"No, I shouldn't have asked you for this."

"You didn't ask me for anything. I offered."

"And you changed your mind."

"No. Not back then the and not now." He said fiercely and looked up into her eyes. "But your father is outside that door waiting for you to talk to him." He added and she immediately grew sad again, the pain hitting her square in the chest.

"I can't."

"You can."

"No."

"Yes. Yes, you can because he needs you and he loves you." He told her. Andy started to cry again and stepped away from him. He let her. He stood up and walked over to her. He pulled her to his arms and she cried for a minute or two before she took a deep breath.

"Go." She said. He nodded. Their little stolen moment in time was over. Kissing her forehead he blinked away his own tears and left. He saw Pruitt in the hall and just nodded at him.

"Sullivan." Pruitt called him.

"Yes, Sir?"

"Thank you." He said sincerely and Sullivan just nodded silently. They stood there looking at each other and the silent conversation between them made them both think. When Andy stepped outside that room Sullivan left without a word.

"Andrea…" Pruitt said and Andy to her own disbelief started to cry again. And so he walked over to her and embraced her. There was no help for this. Only time.

When she calmed down they walked together to the beanery and soon the word was out about Pruitt's condition. And aside from Dean who was with his newborn daughter others came to be there with Pruitt as much as their duties allowed him. Damn the blizzard. Sullivan wasn't sure if he should come or not so he stayed in his office. And was surprised when Hughes came to him.

"Sir?" She said as she knocked on the door.

"Yes?"

"Everyone is up in the beanery with Captain Herrera."

"I know." He tried to dismiss her.

"Well as you just spent couple hours with his crying daughter you might wanna go there, Sir and be with your crew." She told him firmly and knew she was in for some punishment and reprimand but he just watched her silently.

"It's not a good idea, Hughes."

"Staying here alone isn't a good idea, Sir." She told him and he was shocked at her behavior. Well so was she. "We're waiting for you. Don't let us down. Or are you not one of us anymore?" She asked him and that hurt.

"Hughes." He wanted to explain somehow but didn't have the right words.

"Moving up here to this office doesn't mean you don't belong to 19 anymore. Maybe you should remember that." She told him, she wasn't happy and she was mad at him for sitting there and looking like it didn't concern him. So she left.

Sullivan had to admit that he didn't think she would come. Hell that anyone would come. He thought he pissed them all so much that they would be gladly without him. Was he wrong? Or was it just Hughes? He didn't know. It was so strange. This was a strange day. And he felt like crap. Anyway, he got up and walked there to meet the crew and Captain Herrera. He could mingle for a couple of minutes and then go back to his office and pretend he was not there at all. Right?

The crew was there and so was Andy. She was sitting on the couch in the lounge and she looked exhausted. Gibson was keeping her company and looked equally miserable. And literally beaten. What the hell happened? He wanted to know but saw Bishop and realized it was not his problem anymore unless she wanted to talk to him about it. He hated this post. He hated being Battalion Chief but what could he have done?

Montgomery handed him box with doughnuts and he took one with a quiet thanks. He watched his people and realized that he missed them. Missed going on calls and missed being one of them. The pain that just shot through him and made him grit his teeth reminded him why he had to be where he was. Feeling sad and empty he left after some time and the only one that noticed how defeated he looked was Pruitt.

Excusing himself he went after him.

"Sullivan." He called before he could leave. They stopped in the hall.

"Sir?"

"Are you okay?" Pruitt asked him sincerely.

"No, of course I'm not." Sullivan replied and Pruitt felt like an idiot for a moment.

"Talk to me."

"I'm sorry, Sir, but this is not something I wish to discuss." He said politely and knew in the moment he said that sentence that it was a mistake.

"Maybe not but maybe you need to discuss it."

"Sir, please, just let it be and go back to others." Sullivan tried as he desperately wanted to sit down and scream into his pillow. It was good at least for that.

"You were wrong, you know?"

"About what, Sir?"

"She will forgive you." Pruitt said and Sully didn't know what to say to that.

"And I know you won't tell her the truth about the promotion but I will. She deserves to know." Pruitt told him and Sullivan didn't agree.

"Don't do it, Pruitt."

"Why not?"

"Because she needs you on her side. She shouldn't think you betrayed her."

"She thinks you did and it's not true." Pruitt argued back.

"But it's easier for her and I can take it." Sullivan said honestly.

"Because you lied to me." Pruitt said and Sully immediately looked defensive.

"I never lied to you."

"You said there was nothing going on between you and my daughter and that was a lie."

"Sir." Sullivan warned him but Pruitt needed to say it out loud.

"You fell in love with her. I had it all wrong, didn't I?" Pruitt asked and Sullivan was speechless. "Even back then it wasn't about you using her or her doing something she shouldn't have. It was about this all along." Pruitt said and felt deep sympathy for the younger man.

"I'm sorry, Robert. Really sorry." Pruitt said and looked sad and defeated. Sullivan didn't reply and just turned away and left. There was nothing he could say at that moment. Everything was like a nightmare.


	2. Chapter 2

_You guys rock with reviews and PMs. LOVE THEM. You do understand that they keep me going, right? It's nice to know that someone likes what I write._

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After the last shift Andy was beat. She couldn't even drive home as she was so tired she just wanted to sleep. Checking out the bunk was empty she lied down on the bed and tried to relax. Everything was so messed up she just wanted to forget it.

She was hard on Maya but she knew she was right. She should have separated Gibson and Vasquez. She shouldn't have let them work together. But she was also right that the team never took her seriously and doubted every decision she made. It was different for her because of the personal strain on their relationship but for the others it was supposed to be easy. But it wasn't.

They talked about it and they all missed Sullivan. And that was saying something. Andy had to admit that she missed him too, as her boss. She didn't dare to think about him in any other relation. She could still very vividly recall his hands under her t-shirt when she sat on his lap after she cried like a baby into his shirt. His touch was burning her even know and it was just a ghost, just a memory. He let her kiss him and feel him and he played along, allowing her everything she asked for. He would burn for her, do the impossible.

She felt so bad when he stopped his actions but the moment of clarity that came afterwards was welcomed. She almost had sex with him in the bunk with her father standing outside that door waiting for her to come out and face the truth about his condition. And it would destroy both her and Sullivan, she was sure about it.

When he said that he didn't change his mind back then… did he mean what she thought he meant? After L.A.? When he told her to go? She lived with the feeling of loss and betrayal. He told her to go just after she showed him pretty openly how she felt about him. She was so aroused and so excited that his dismissal was even worse than a cold shower.

He ignored her for two weeks and when he finally came back to the office he did all he could not to be alone with her. She caught him watching her, stealing glances. Few times they touched in the beanery or on the catwalk, few times he stood by her and she leaned into him for a second before she practically ran away. Nothing was ever explained till the moment by the Engine when he came to her and she thought her knees wouldn't hold her up. Before he said he was in love with her. He assured her she didn't make it all up. So why didn't he want to listen?

She was so sad that she couldn't celebrate Ben's big news then. She needed to leave and she needed to disappear. Instead of that he came to her and stood so close she could melt into him. And then he told her his reasoning and she told him her version of it. He seemed like he wanted to say something but didn't get the chance. Andy left and her broken heart ached again. She felt so stupid.

So what was wrong with her? Why did she let him comfort her in the bunk? Why did she let him hold her and protect her? Why did she kissed him? After such a long time, after he betrayed her and promoted Bishop instead of her. Why didn't he at least told her before he did it? She thought she meant so little to him and even though he tried to explain to her that it was to protect her and to give her time to grieve Ryan, she wasn't willing to listen.

So what the hell was it? When she realized that he knew about her father and didn't tell her, she was mad. Her dad said they would talk about it but was there anything to talk about? Sullivan betrayed her on more than just one level and she couldn't do a damn thing about it. She was hurting so much she went numb after Ryan's funeral and it wasn't getting any better. How could it?

When there was a knock on the door, she didn't know who that could be. She was surprised to see Sullivan and immediately thought it was about Rigo. But it wasn't. It was personal as much as it could. She heard him talking to her, she heard him apologize and she heard him say he was in love with her. He was there trying to open up to her, trying to show her his heart and bare his soul and she couldn't say anything because her world would crumble around her.

He wanted to talk, he looked so lost and broken that she wanted to hug him and make it better before she realized that she shouldn't even think like that. And so she told him that she could be angry at him because unlike her father he was healthy and she closed the door.

She felt like screaming. Before she could decide what to do he knocked again.

"Andy, please." Sullivan said. He knew Andy wouldn't welcome him with open arms but he didn't expect such reaction.

Andy didn't reply. So he tried again. "Andy…" And she had to admit that hearing him say her name like that caused a strong reaction in her.

"Please, just let me tell you what I need to tell you and then I'll go if you ask me to." He tried again, broken, defeated. It was so painful to know he needed her so much and not being able to tell her. It took Andy a minute but then she opened the door. She stepped aside to let him walk in and he hesitated.

"You're worried about your reputation, Chief?" She asked and was bitter and she knew it. He just sighed sadly and walked in, closing the door behind him.

"So talk." Andy said and stood on the other side of the room. She didn't trust herself. And she didn't know what to expect. He sighed and watched her for a moment.

"You think I don't want you but you're wrong. You think I don't love you and you're wrong about that too. You think I changed my mind after we came back from L.A. but that's where you're wrong too and I know you don't want to believe me but please, please, believe me." He said and she stood there and felt her nail digging into her palms.

"I screwed up and I know it will take a lot before you would even consider forgiving me but God knows I want to try to do my best because I need you and it scares me." He said and Andy blinked away tears. Not a good day for such talks. And Sullivan still wasn't finished.

"You can be mad at me all you want and I can take it. You can hate me and I can take it. But the truth is that I am not healthy and it's a secret I keep for months and it's killing me and dragging me down."

"You're sick?" She asked worriedly, immediately having the worst scenarios in her head.

"I suffer from Complex regional pain syndrome. It's in my leg. It's exhausting and painful and it drives me nuts and I face it every day and hope it will get better but it's getting worse and it's getting out of hand and I can't deal with it alone." He said and wasn't ashamed of the emotions in his voice and tears in his own eyes.

"So I'm standing here asking for forgiveness and for your help because I can't do this on my own and I need you because you mean so much to me, because I love you and because without you I'm lost." He said and waited for her to say something.

Andy was speechless. She watched him and he didn't move an inch. He stood there and waited, his heart beating like crazy, lump in his throat making it difficult to breathe.

"Please." He added and saw Andy blink away tears. They made their way down her cheek and it broke his heart. "I didn't mean to make you cry." He told her and without thinking about it he took those two steps to her and wiped away that tear from her cheek. Andy's eyes shot up to him and they both froze in shock.

Without giving it a second thought he kissed her and she didn't fight back. When he broke the contact, Andy wanted to say something but he asked her to forgive him and then he left. And so she stood there with her eyes moist and her heart trying to decide if it should break or start mending back. This man was driving her crazy. But she had to admit she was scared when he said he was sick. Damned she cared about him too and all those things he said made her head spin.

Her phone rang and she answered it. It was her father.

"Dad."

"Andrea, are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. What's up dad?"

"I'm coming back to the Station with Warren and I was hoping we could have dinner and talk." He said honestly.

"Dad." She replied.

"Please, let me explain everything with full stomach." He asked and she smiled despite everything.

"Okay. I'm still here so I'll wait for you, all right?"

"All right. Bye."

"Bye, dad." She said and put her phone down. She needed to change and she should probably wash her face so the crew wouldn't see her cry again.

She met her dad and was grateful she didn't get to see Sullivan again. She wasn't sure she could handle it. He changed her world and he changed her so much it was difficult to walk away from him especially after such speech. She was worried about him and she was trying to convince himself that he didn't deserve it.

Pruitt took her to their favorite place where they had the best lasagna. They sat down and ate in comfortable silence. Pruitt never wanted to deal with things on empty stomach and it was one of the things she liked about her dad.

"So… tell me, dad. Tell me everything." She asked him and knowing he had to, he told her.

"And so I came to him and asked him not to promote you because I knew you would have to deal with my cancer and I didn't want you to lose your only chance at being Captain."

"Dad…"

"He didn't know I was sick, Andrea. I told him that you needed time to grieve Ryan. I knew you would go numb and angry and that you would be forgetting to eat and sleep and that he should pick someone else."

"I did that when I was a kid, dad." She scolded him.

"And you had the same look on your face when we buried Ryan as you had when we buried your mother." He told her softly.

"Look, Sullivan wanted to promote you. He tried to convince me that you would handle it. He believes in you. He trusts you. You mean a lot to him."

"Don't go there." She warned him but he had nothing to lose.

"I already apologized to him but I have to apologize to you again for understanding it all wrong." Pruitt said and Andy was at loss for the right words. "He stood by you, Andy. He didn't betray you. I did. Because I love you and I wanted to protect you." Pruitt said and reached over the table to hold her hand. She pulled away though.

"Why didn't he say something?" She asked, her voice trembling.

"Because he loves you." Pruitt answered and was surprised how easily he could say it out loud. It seemed he came to terms with it. He accepted Robert Sullivan and appreciated the man. He loved his daughter so much he would let it destroy him. Well that wasn't exactly healthy but he could understand him and he admired him for his strength. Besides he could tell that he meant a lot to his daughter.

"And I think you feel the same way about him." Pruitt said with a slight hesitation.

"It doesn't matter, dad. He's my Battalion Chief." Andy argued back.

"I know. And I'm sorry about that but…"

"But what, dad? You said it yourself. I set female firefighters years back. I screw up my career, your legacy." Andy told him bitterly.

"Screw this, Andrea. Life is too short." He said instead and Andy was so shocked she didn't know what to say to that.

"If he is what you need and what you want then go after it." He advised her.

"Dad…" She wasn't sure he meant it.

"I'm sorry I hurt you both." He said and Andy let him hold her hand this time.

She insisted on walking him home and then she wandered through the streets of Seattle. She should have gone home, she knew but after she heard her dad confess she felt she needed to go somewhere else. Everything got pretty clear in her head and she knew she owed Sullivan at least an apology. But she also wanted to chew his head off! Why didn't he tell her?

When she finally made it to his place she was soaked because it of course had to start to rain. Perfect. She looked horrible, she felt horrible, she was wet and cold and wasn't sure it was such a good idea to be there at all. She thought about coming home instead but Jack wasn't at his best today for sure and she was worried that she wouldn't find the courage to talk to Sullivan tomorrow. She was compromised today and she needed to do it before she talked herself out of it.

Ringing the bell at the main door she wasn't sure he would answer. But he did. When she heard his voice through the speaker she felt shivers running down her spine.

"It's me, Robert." She said and waited anxiously. But he buzzed the door and let her come in. She knew he lived on the third floor so she walked to the third floor. The door to his apartment was open and she knocked and opened them. He appeared there in jeans and dark t-shirt, his feet bare and he looked so handsome she cursed herself for coming at all. She looked down and saw a puddle of water underneath her. Great. Could this get any more embarrassing?

"Andy." He greeted her and then noticed how she looked. "Jesus come on in." He invited her in and disappeared. He came back with a towel. She took off her jacket and shoes and he put the towel around her shoulders and tried to dry her off.

"I shouldn't have come probably." She said and she was so cold she was trembling.

"We need to warm you up first." He said and let her to his bedroom without thinking about it twice. Andy was a bit taken aback but he just sat her down on the edge of the bed and took out a pullover and sweatpants from his closet.

"It'll be too big but it's dry." He said. And she nodded. He hands were freezing.

"Here, let me help you." He offered and she nodded. And so he helped her to pull the soaked t-shirt over her head. She was sitting there in her bra and he swallowed hard. This was a bad idea.

"Go, take a shower and change, I'll make some tea." He said, his voice hoarse. He left her in a hurry. She knew where the bathroom was because this was not the first time she was here. She visited couple of times when they were on good terms, they would watch a movie together and have pizza or tacos. Those were nice friendly evenings and she missed them so much it hurt.

She walked to the bathroom and undressed. Taking a hot shower she came back to the living room dressed in his clothes. He was waiting for her with a cup of tea. Andy took it from his hand and put it onto the table. She put her palms on his chest then.

"Andy…"

"You should have told me about your leg. And you should have told me that you needed the promotion so you could stay in the department." She said.

"You figured it out?"

"Kind of…" She said and he sat down on the edge of the table where she met him. She walked to him and noticed that they were eye to eye which was very uncommon.

"You still owe me an explanation." She said.

"I know. We have a lot to talk about. If you're willing to give me the chance." He replied.

"Did you want to promote me?" She asked as this was one of the most painful topics between them. He didn't answer at first. But then under her intense gaze he nodded.

"Yes."

"Andy my father asked you not to do it. He told me." She said and Sullivan waited for the rest. "Why did you listen to him?" She asked.

"Because…" He was trying to explain. "Because he asked me to trust him. He asked me if I loved you." He confessed and felt so stupid his ears were probably burning red. "Andy, I…" He wanted to defend himself but didn't get the chance as she was on her toes, kissing him.

He let her kiss him and when he was sure she truly wanted this, he smiled into that kiss and after another few minutes he switched places with her. He sat her down on the table and stood between her legs. They explored each other, their kisses getting hungry and demanding, their hands restless and wandering.

"Andy…" He wanted to say something but she stopped him.

"Make love to me now, we can talk later." She said and he searched her face for any doubts. He saw none. And when she pulled his pullover over her head and sat in front of him half naked, he lost it. Kissing her, touching her, he wasn't sure they would make it to the bedroom. When he realized what was happening he stopped and Andy looked not too pleased by it.

"I'm not going anywhere this time." She said firmly. "And I am pretty sure there is no one behind your door." She added and he smiled and growled as she pulled him closer by his belt.

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_Sorry people I am so tired I end it here. See you next time after the next episode probably. But I might come back to this one for one last chapter._


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